Honey, I'm home!

Well I have this little home established here in this pocket of the universe. I'm not sure what I want to do with it exactly, but it is here waiting for me when I figure it out. I do need the creative outlet, so I have been giving it some thought lately. We'll see how it comes along. 

Things You Don’t Need When Having a Baby:

I live in a small space. While we have ample storage, the footprint of the apartment isn’t very large. I’ve noticed a Small Space trend happening, and I would like to provide my insight to the family with fears of first born sprawl.

Oh my God. I don’t have ROOM for a baby. For a good chunk of my childhood, I didn’t have my own room. My stuff was in the room called the Girls’ room. My [half] sister is about 8 years older and got to sleep alone. I slept in the room we called my brother’s room on the top bunk with my little brother below and racecars racing along the walls. Except when my sister was visiting her aunt, mom, granny or another “daddy.” “Where am I sleeping tonight?” I’m sure my sister felt the same way, what with so many people passing her back and forth (she’s a story for another day). Having no real place-of-my-own for a few years out of my life didn’t hurt me. It also didn’t hurt me to not have themed bedrooms with matching curtains.

After almost two years of motherhood, I’ve discovered that a lot of things on my Registry are not actually necessary! Here they are along with solutions/reasons:

Matching bedding: her bedding is changed often due to milk and diaper leaks. I use hand-me-down fitted crib sheets and a “breathable” bumper panel so she doesn’t get stuck in the bars. She is not interested in blankets or pillows.

• A changing table: face it – they take up a lot of room, and even if it doubles as a dresser, there is still lost storage potential. A changing pad on the floor or bed works just fine.
• Baby lotion: regular person lotion is just fine. The baby is going to smell good no matter what.
• More than one stroller: Get one of those strollers a step above an umbrella stroller. It’s fine from birth to toddler years. Seats adjust.
• A different car seat for each phase: we had the travel system and then another car seat for after 1 year old. When we graduated to the second car seat, we realized it was also a car seat that would have been fine for rear-facing phase. They’re out there. It will serve her until she’s four. It will also work for another kid (should we have one) while rear-facing.
• Shopping cart cover: you just don’t need one. When they’re so little, you have a seat in most shopping cards. When they’re bigger, they can sit on a blanket or your sweater if you’re that afraid of germs. You do bathe your baby, don’t you? What’s to worry about?
• Bottle warmers, wipe warmers: rub the wipes in your hands, and run hot water over the bottle.
• Baby detergent: Even if your baby has very sensitive skin, you can use the same detergent on your clothes as your baby’s clothes.
• Rocking chair/glider: While I really like the way my rocker looks and it will probably be in my family for a long time, I didn’t really use it that much. Babies tend to like being walked around better rather than rocked. If I rested Amelia on my lap while rocking (which is the argument of rocking over walking), she just wanted to sit up and play.
• New clothes: duh. Hand-me-downs are cheaper!
• A baby book: I totally sucked at keeping a baby book, and they’re kind of confining. I ended up making a scrap book and keeping my pregnancy journal – turned long letter journal to Amelia – instead.

Some life-savers, on the other hand:

• Oragel: for you and the baby
• Baby gates: good for pets later.
• Bottle brush: Trying to minimize my belongings and not having one of these around was a KILLER on bottles. The milk might not be there, but the stench stays unless you scrub it.
• Breathable bumper panel: Bumper pads get a lot of attention these days in conjunction with fear of SIDS. I was nervous, so I didn’t get them. Then, Amelia got to be a very mobile sleeper and kept getting stuck in her rails. This breathable panel was the key to her sleeping through the night. As soon as we got it, she was a dreamer.
• This list is by no means exclusive. It adjusts with the person, but these are some general findings that I think are fairly universal.

What have you learned is necessary or unnecessary accoutrements in life?

Heaven When We're Home

Once upon a time (now-a-days), there was this song that kept springing up in my head. Sometimes triggered by listening to the cd, but most often because a thought I was having reminded me of it. This song is full of wisdom and truth if there is such a thing as truth. Maybe just Wisdom is truth enough for now. But, this song has kind of become an anthem, an encouragement to me. It is my just-right song.

Heaven When We're Home

by the Wailin' Jennys

Don't know what time it is, I've been up for way too long
and I'm too tired to sleep
I call my mother on the phone, she wasn't home,
and now I'm wandering the street
I've been a fool, I've been cruel to myself
I've been hanging onto nothing
when nothing could be worse than hanging on
And something tells me there must be
something better than all this

I've fallen many times in love and every time
it's been with the wrong man
Still I'm out there living one day at a time
and doing the best I can
Cuz we've all made mistakes
that seem to lead us astray
But every time they helped to get us where we are today
And that's a good a place as any
and it's probably where we're best off anyway

It's a long and rugged road
and we don't now where it's headed
But we know it's going to get us where we're going
And when we find what we're looking for
we'll drop these bags and search no more
'Cuz it's going to feel like heaven when we're home
It's going to feel like heaven when we're home

There's no such thing as perfect,
and if there is we'll fnd it when we're good and dead
Trust me I've been looking
but tonight I think I'll go and take a bath instead
And then maybe I'll walk a while
and feel the earth beneath me
They say if you stop looking
it doesn't matter if you find it
And whose to say that even if I did
it's what I'm really looking for

It's a long and rugged road
and we don't now where it's headed
But we know it's going to get us where we're going
And when we find what we're looking for
we'll drop these bags and search no more
'Cuz it's going to feel like heaven when we're home
It's going to feel like heaven when we're home

(Note: I do not believe I have fallen in love with the Wrong Man.)

Oh, this doesn’t solve any household/grooming issues?

Some things I’m applying to all aspects of my life lately that can help you too:

1. I’ve decided I am a transcendentalist. No, this does not mean I use crystals to heal my thyroid or whatever. I still love my God and still pray. I have just come to accept that the world transcends my own understanding. The world, the universe actually, is so big that there is no way that I can understand it. God is in everything so everything is a part of him. I am. You are. All of the things that happen in the universe - bad or good - are part of a plan that we cannot entirely understand. So, acceptance or as some call it, faith, allows me to just be. And accept every single person the way he is and love him for his individuality. :)

2. Simplify. Do I need it? Do I love it? If not, then it is gone.

3. Hatred is rooted in fear. If I know it cannot hurt me, I have no reason to hate. Hatred and anger and grudges are all rooted in FEAR.

4. Part of giving is sometimes taking. I love to give to people - give my time, my love, my heart, my ideas. I have a really hard time TAKING. My dad brought this to my attention the other day when I wouldn’t let him wash my car. He loves to do things for other people too. He was trying to stay awake so he wanted to wash all of the visitors’ cars. He said he and I both have such a hard time taking gifts from other people. I have had to do a heck of a lot of borrowing this year, and the only way I’ve been able to kick my pride horse in the mouth (ew, where did I come up with that?) is to say I AM GOING TO PAY IT BACK EVEN IF I HAVE TO STEAL THEIR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND DEPOSIT IT MYSELF. So, when I can give, I do. I joined the Blacksburg freecycle.org and am giving all of those annoying easter eggs to a girl that can use them. I also regularly give to Goodwill (I’ve taken at least 2 car loads of STUFF in the last two months). If I can give so easily and people can take so easily, why can’t I? So, I am taking. My friend is treating me to a special pampering outing. I said I’d let her.


Walt Whitman - Always a source of inspiration